I think we often have this preconceived notion that faith is only for the super spiritual. I believe faith isn’t for some special group of people, but for the weak hearted, the struggling, the fearful, anxious and hopeless; for the people like you and I.
I have heard many sermons on people in the Bible and their great faith, but often what we forget is that their great faith came through or out of great struggle. People have often said to me in different seasons of my life, you are a woman of faith. Maybe it was because I was the crazy girl, who put her notice on her apartment with no place else to live. I was the one who would go to a restaurant with others and wait for God to put it on someone’s heart to cover my meal, because I didn’t have the money to pay. I was also the one that when God said give your computer away and trust God that He would provide another. I did and saw Him provide one even better. I don’t say all these things to make it seem like I am someone super spiritual or that it came easy. What most people don’t know is that this season of faith for finances and trust in what God could provide didn’t come without struggle. Right before this season of faith, I had no consistent paying job, I had gotten sick with no healthcare, I was experiencing extreme spiritual warfare and had become depressed and wanted to give up. It wasn’t until one day as I was driving in my car that God said to me, “Have I ever left you or forsaken you?” I had to come to a place where I realized that I couldn’t deny this statement, when I looked back over my life I couldn’t think of one moment where God had left me. It wasn’t that I didn’t feel discouraged or let down, but I couldn’t say that in the end of past experiences that God had left me or forsaken me even if it felt like he had. I realized that my faith wasn’t based on feelings, it was based on who God is, was and says he is in His word. If Noah would have waited until he felt like building an ark, or when he waited for people’s approval of what he was doing, the ark may have never gotten built. I’m sure there were moments of doubt and discouragement, but I believe these are the moments that he also had to choose to move forward in faith despite his feelings. He simply had to go on what God told him and who God was.
I am facing a similar season of struggle currently. I had stepped out to write about 6 months ago and found that the moment I began to write, circumstances began to come against me, trials in my family, sickness, fear, discouragement. I wanted to give up completely and all I had done was one blog post. The spiritual warfare beginning this process had made me want to give up many times and never touch it again if I were completely honest. Noah who didn’t give up after the first few months of building the ark, reminded me that I don’t have to either. I’m sure he had setbacks and fear in the process. What if I build this thing and nothing ever happens? I will look like a fool. For me it is what if I write and nothing ever comes of this. I remain some anonymous blog writer or never actually publish anything. What if my writing stinks and doesn’t inspire anyone? OR…what if it does? I believe faith is building the ark in the face of fear, anxiety, uncertainty, doubt and difficult circumstances. It is feeling those things. It is feeling them and then moving ahead even while you feel them. It’s believing that the same God who helped Noah is the same God who will help you and I. It isn’t avoiding the things that bring fear, but doing them in spite and through the fear. It isn’t waiting for the perfect environment or circumstances, it is doing it imperfectly and trusting that God will make a way. It is having the most faithless filled days, months and years and yet still moving forward. My steps of faith might not look like your steps of faith, but the process leading up to these moments could be laden with similarities. My prayer is that it will inspire you that you too can be a person of great faith despite what you may be feeling and where you are.
Cori Writes 